In scarcity and in abundance
Originally written in Russian.
“I know how to live with little, and I know how to live with plenty.”
Philippians 4:12.
Lately, I've been thinking about these words of the apostle Paul more and more.
Sometimes I think every startup founder might benefit from spending a year or a year and a half living that broke-founder life.
When almost all your money goes into the project. When crisps and a Snickers seem like a reasonable dinner. When you have a cash-flow gap not only in the company but in your own life. When even basic expenses can become an urgent problem to solve.
The funny thing is that, from the outside, it can look entirely different.
You're speaking at events, meeting incredible people, building a company and travelling to conferences. You seem to be living this wonderfully interesting life.
Then you come home and wonder where you'll find the money for the next unexpected expense. Haha.
That's the other side of the beautiful startup life.
It is a constant emotional roller coaster. On Monday you think you're about to transform the market. On Thursday you're wondering how to make it to next week.
Sometimes everything is going well until an unforeseen expense arrives that had nothing to do with you.
These things used to throw me badly off balance. I'm gradually learning to respond more calmly.
If I can't control the circumstances, why spend my energy worrying instead of looking for a solution?
Here is the interesting part: I wouldn't want to erase this period from my life.
I've gained an enormous amount of experience. Sometimes I'm amazed by what I've learned, the problems I can now solve and the people life has brought me into contact with.
I'm almost certain no university could have taught me all of this in the same way and at the same scale.
When you have almost no resources, you start thinking differently. You look for unconventional solutions, negotiate, ask for help and find opportunities where you hadn't noticed any before.
Somehow, again and again, things work out.
Sometimes it really feels like a small miracle. Yesterday you had no idea where the money for an expense would come from. Today an opportunity appears and helps you cover it.
I believe God works through these circumstances too.
I don't think poverty automatically makes someone better. And I certainly don't believe being short of money is a prerequisite for creating a great startup.
But I can see how these particular difficulties are changing me.
They teach me not to take things for granted, to value the people who stay when I have nothing, and to be grateful even for ordinary things.
Perhaps the most important lesson is learning to be thankful for what I have today while remaining incredibly hungry for what I could create tomorrow.
Not to despair when money is scarce, and not to lose my head when there is more of it. Not to measure my worth by my bank balance. Not to forget why any of this started.
I want to build a truly big company one day. I want us to have enormous resources, possibilities and the freedom to create extraordinary things.
Even more than that, if those things ever come, I don't want to forget the guy who once counted his last money and kept building his startup anyway.
The real test of a person isn't only how they handle hardship. It is also who they become when the hardship ends.
For me, that is the meaning of those biblical words right now: learning to be happy in scarcity and in abundance, grateful for the present without ceasing to reach for more.